The rules were:
1. Go to the 4th folder in your computer where you store your pictures.
2. Pick the 4th picture in that folder.
3. Explain the picture.
4. Tag 4 people to do the same!
Nevertheless, I thought it would be more interesting to twist the rules just a tiny bit and go for a printed picture. I think I've been feeling a little nostalgic of the time before digital cameras existed.
So instead of going to a folder in my desktop, I chose to go into the closet in my apartment were I keep all my old stuff. There I had two boxes filled with old pictures. I chose the box that kept the oldest. It was there that I looked for the fourth envelope, from which I took the fourth picture, which turned out to be this one:
I have no idea of the exact year I took this picture, but it must have been like... 8 or 9 years ago. I took it in a beach called Mazunte in Oaxaca, Mexico.
I loved coming across this picture because I really like it for so many reasons. The first would be that it looks so much older than 9 years, that is because I took it with the old camera that my parents took on their honeymoon in the early 1960s; it was a Retinet (I still have it!) the last model to be made in Germany and its completely manual, you actually have to guess the distance and the light, so coming with a decent, not to say good looking, picture is quite a challenge. Still, I like it better than a picture with perfect lighting, you know what I mean? I think the flaws make it beautiful.
I also love it because it brought the best of memories. The guy in the picture is actually my ex-boyfriend, now very good friend, 'Cha'.
Looking at this picture (and the rest of the film on the envelope) I remembered just how much we loved each other (as much as you can love anyone in your 20s) and the great times that we used to spend together. I also remembered my own self through those pictures. How I used to make a big deal out of insignificant stuff, how I would fight him for things that today seem of absolutely no importance.
Actually, looking at the pictures, I thought of myself as a young girl (NOT woman) who used to make a big deal out of everything. I wish I could travel in time, and go tell my young self not to worry so much. I would tell myself that I should just enjoy the gorgeous boyfriend I was with; to have more fun, laugh more, and not be so worried about "our future", 'cause there would never be one, there was only a gleaming present filled with incredible moments.
I wish I could go and tell her that he wasn't the great love of my life, as we both believed at that time. That love, real love, was something much bigger and most of all, mature, than what we had. I wish I could just go and tell her: "You know... you are just 22! Relax about your job, about responsibilities, about your career, about money or about the things that you expect from a marriage, what's more, forget about marriage!. Enjoy life... enjoy the beach, kiss your boyfriend, laugh with him and feel beautiful because you are!". Because yes, I also remember feeling uncomfortable with my body, but when I saw the pictures oh my God! It was the perfect body! No body fat whatsoever and tight all over... I wish I could go back and tell 20 year old Ivonne to realize that, and that it is true, your body is perfect when you are very young but it doesn't last forever...
And I think that despite all I have said, I really enjoyed that time. I just wish I would have more. It was a perfect summer, in a perfect beach, with a perfect highschool-sweetheart type of boyfriend. I had the perfect body and enough energy as to run, read, make love, swim and feel more alive than ever...
A few years after that, Cha and I both got into stronger, deeper relationships with other people, our paths split, but we managed to remain friends, and I think that shows that we really cared for each other; beyond attachments or jealousy, there was true affection.
Must make one thing clear though: I absolutely love my life today and maybe, it is those things lost, that make me appreciate what I have now even more. Actually, I am in the process of accepting the present more, to live in it and stop worrying... or else, I'll have the 40 year old Ivonne traveling in time, and telling me not to worry and enjoy this gorgeous time I'm living... and that my body is still perfect, haha.
So now, after all this speech, I pass this tag on to: